so long, so many stories.

The past few months, there had been alot that had happened. My birthday just finished, and alot happened. Some sad, and happy and confusing things. I just don't want to put it in detail.


My bestfriend, is still the same person. We fought again, and eventually stopped for sometime.. and just a few days ago we went back to being bestfriends. Great huh? There are alot of things i can't tell him mainly because i know he wouldn't understand and he wouldn't care. Nevertheless, i still told him everything even though he never trusted me enough to tell me things and his reason was that he wasn't ready and he didn't want to hurt me. Don't you think it would hurt more knowing that you're not telling me? Ohwell, i understand. It's nothing anyhow. Now that we're back on track, there's a big gap inbetween.. it's like everything we had before, suddenly went back to zero.. but hey i guess it's doing you good. Right?

Oh, since Erika morales posted something in her blog for me, which is

"Ate Claire, thanks for making me smile. Weh, gusto pa. :))"

Here's my reply,

"No problem dear, im glad i did ;) I'm here if you need me =) Takecare. /ate claire."

tata for now. ;) takecare. :)

events.

So many homeworks and projects to do. This is very stressing. School has been very hectic. Exams are coming, just a week to go. Damn. My birthday is also coming up.

It's been a month since i last updated my blog. How sad, not even time to write. There have been so many things that happened. Countless arguements with my bestfriend, which stinks. Well, that's life. So many things happened in school too. Nothing has changed, im still the same. School is number 1, then sleen, then time, then my friends. Haha. How Sad. SLEEP is precious these days, and time.

Screw projects. They are the number 1 burden in a student's life. I just wish they evaporate into thin air. haha. How Low. Speaking of projects, i'm doing mine now. So, i'll update when i can. ;)

tata for now. ;) you take care.

bestfriend.

it sucks to have a bestfriend that doesn't care.

im sad.

if i had to live my life without you near me. the days would all be empty. the nights would seem so long. With you i see forever oh so clearly.

Maybe i'm stupid. I don't know. I tried not to think about it. I tried. It's just that, for some reason hes very different. Trusting him with things that i never told anyone else but all this time, he doesn't know a thing about me. I miss him. Im not afraid to admit it cause i do. Unfortunately, missing him wouldn't mean a thing to him. He's shallow. All he can think about is his self, his crushes, things like that. His defenition of being bestfriends is someone you can be with in times of doing stupid things. So, what ever happend to trust? does that even exist now? I guess not. Maybe for him, friendship is one stupid thing. It hurts that you actually care for someone this much but then he/she does not even care about what you feel.


Few weeks had past, pain has not yet gone away. it stays. Too bad i can't do anything to make it go away. The only thing that would make me feel better is having him back now.. I miss you, can't you see that? :(

What if i put no one above you? What if i did the things that really mattered. What if i ran through hoops of disaster?
What about love? What about feeling? What about all the things that make life worth living? What about faith? What about trust?


Doesn't any of this mean a thing to you?

shocking.

OH WOW.

This is weird. haha. I'll just show you something, then you'll know how weird. Im showing excerpts from th conversation. Its too long to put in here. You'll be bored.

eileen (4/15/2006 9:13:36 PM): anjelica alcala: bru: mukhang kawawa na siya sobra ah anjelica alcala: bru: naaawa na ako eh
KuyaM (4/15/2006 9:14:00 PM): eh kinakawawa ka na eh
eileen (4/15/2006 9:14:16 PM): Waw. May paki ka pla pag knakawawa ako? :))
KuyaM (4/15/2006 9:15:50 PM): hindi ba halata?
eileen (4/15/2006 9:15:57 PM): hindi ba halata ang ano?
eileen (4/15/2006 9:16:04 PM): na naglolokohan lang taung tatlo?
KuyaM (4/15/2006 9:16:31 PM): hindi ba halata na may paki ako sayo?


and then.. a little more chat then this comes along.


eileen (4/15/2006 9:18:13 PM): I mean. Dude.
eileen (4/15/2006 9:18:26 PM): I know you care about people.
eileen (4/15/2006 9:18:40 PM): Pero, im not sure of that when it actually comes to me.
eileen (4/15/2006 9:18:55 PM): i mean
KuyaM (4/15/2006 9:19:02 PM): you dont trust me.. i understand
eileen (4/15/2006 9:19:26 PM): pero i guessm you dont trust me :))
KuyaM (4/15/2006 9:19:27 PM): hehe
KuyaM (4/15/2006 9:19:45 PM): i trust you.. hindi lang halata..
eileen (4/15/2006 9:19:55 PM): Wow.
KuyaM (4/15/2006 9:19:57 PM): thats why i care for you?

THATS IT ;)

So That's it. Weird huh? :) I KNOW. i hope it doesnt get any weirder today. Oh btw, that was last night's conversation :) The only crappy conversation we had.

Bestfriend? .. is no more.

Ok. at the moment, everything seems to be going wrong for me. I mean, one moment i was holdng it the next it slipped from my hand. Everything sucks. We all know the feeling when people leave us. It hurts, BAD. Although it does we need to deal with it. Everybody has someone to trust, someone to care for. Lucky him he doesn't even care. Everything has gone from 10 to 0. He said that he was like a slave, when infact i never forced him to do things for me. He wasn't even honest, if im really his bestfriend he would have told me but he didn't so i guess im not. Im stupid if i do say i don't miss him cause i do pero everthing ends there, and that's final.





Why fight for someone, when in the first place they dont want you in their life?

Fucked Up Country.


We all now live in a country where everything is messed up. It sucks that even our own president can't do anything about it. Well, she did declare state of emergency. Which i dont really see the point why she did. Well, maybe i'm just blind to see that Cory Aquino went to malacanang palace just to pray. That's crazy. She even started the rallies. What is her problem anyway? It's not like it's doing any good for the country. Why can't everybody just get along, and for once unite to be able to fix the situation of the country? Cause as i can see, most of the country men are against the government. Why not try pitching in and helping our government to be able to achieve something.


Love.


What is LOVE? For the past 2 quarters in school we have been talking about it? It is actually indescribable. For people, they mistaken love as infatuation. That's how i see it nowadays. It's weird that people fall in love, when they don't even know what the meaning is. I myself have no idea about what it really is. When we watch movies, they give an idea that being in love is FUN. You see them having happy endings.. but do they really?


What is LOVE for you?
What can we do for our country that would somehow help in achieving peace and unity in our own country? ;)
THINK ABOUT IT. lemme know.